History, as defined by the Merrian-Webster Dictionary, is a branch of knowledge that records and explains past events. It also has been referred to as His-Story. As a reference to the story of Jesus as recorded by His closest friends. However, I ask of neither of the two. The history I'm referring to is the history of yourself.
Most of us can recall our family history to our grandparents or even our great-grandparents with relative ease. Medical questionnaires often inquire about health issues. Do you or did anyone in our family have any health issues like high blood pressure, high cholesterol, or asthma? Does anyone in our family have any other serious illnesses, such as cancer, stroke, Alzheimer's/dementia, genetic birth disorder, or osteoporosis? Questions like these, in addition to common knowledge, make us aware of the physical ailments of our family members. What about mental health? What about how you brought up? Have you been affected by the way your parents were raised and thus how they reared you?
We tote our childhood experiences into adulthood. Many of which are positive and pleasurable experiences. However, there are scars and buried traumas that come along too. It's the unresolved traumatic experiences that make it difficult for when we reach a mature age. Well into adulthood, we react and display emotions as children because we never learned how to do otherwise. For example, the guy that has an over the top reaction when his relationship has ended. While his actions may seem extreme on the surface, in his mind, he is fighting for his life. The separation may have triggered the emotional trauma he felt from being abandoned as a child. Does that excuse his behavior? No, it does not. However, understanding what triggered his reaction is the first step to resolving it. Maybe there is a perfectly understandable reason why your spouse is livid if you don't call when you are a few minutes late coming home. If you knew that dredged up painful emotions of when his/her parent was injured in an auto accident, would you consider a call to let them know you were safe? However, the onus of understanding these emotions is not solely on you. We have to recognize the pain and fear that has been buried by our subconscious. It is our responsibility to identify, understand, and effectively communicate the things that affect us to the people in our lives.
Whether it be news, entertainment, or social media, we wade waist-deep in a flood of information. We fill our days with frivolous engagements and the occasional relevant food for thought. This is easy to do because it is in our face all the time. On the other hand, to fully understand ourselves requires a relentless effort. I encourage you to examine what you do and why you do it. A healthy relationship will not just happen to be.
Don't pray for what you won't work for.